


The Universe Said, "Shine."

by Starlit_Autistic



Category: Sparklecare (Webcomic)
Genre: Content Warning for basically everything in the main comic, Trigger Warnings will be put in chapters that need them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlit_Autistic/pseuds/Starlit_Autistic
Summary: Beverly Quiet wakes up after a scientific/magykal experiment gone haywire in the wonderful world of suffering that is the Sparklecare Hospital. There, she meets new friends and finds new purpose. The road ahead is paved with pain and misery, but new light will shine on this dark place.
Relationships: this might get...oc x canon, will update tags as they happen in the story
Kudos: 4





	The Universe Said, "Shine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story is gonna be...wicked different from my other two. Since this OC is also a self-insert of sorts, its gonna be a lot more personal. A lot of the character's actions and themes are synonymous with my own, which makes this story more impactful to me. It's gonna be weird, but I hope you enjoy it none the less.
> 
> Chapter Warning: Attempted Suicide, Abuse Mentions

The night was cold and bleak. Rain poured down from the heavens in a torrential downfall, seemingly never ceasing. In front of me laid a simple house, hidden in the forest. I’d call it my home, but it never felt like home to me. The house was white, glaring at any passerby amidst the greenery surrounding it. The place looks inviting to the untrained eye, but not to me. Standing outside, I can feel the pain from all the years flooding back. The rain pouring down into my overflowing dam of sorrow, and the floodgates can't hold it anymore. My chest starts tightening, convulsing through the silent sobs. I move towards the house, trying to collect myself. I take the key to the front door from my satchel and unlock it. 

Stepping inside, the air is thick and gloomy. The house sits in perfect silence, menacing and devoid of life or emotion. My parents aren’t home, but the terror their presence indicates last in every fiber of this house. Not wasting a moment, I head up the stairs that connect the entryway to the upper landing towards my room. Passing my parents room while up there, my body tenses up, remembering all the nights I've snuck up the stairs only to be met by that door opening. Those nights are never fun. 

Shaking myself from the memories, I remember why I’m here. I open the door to my room, and take a step in. The walls and floor are lined with torn-out pages from various notebooks. Drawings of runes and rituals, writings of various tests and research, and potential theories line the pages scattered about the room. The room beneath the papers is very bland; one desk, one bed, and a closet for clothes. I move towards the desk, tiptoe-ing over the papers that line the floor, careful to not ruin them. In hindsight, I should probably clean and organize this place, but sometimes science requires some disorder. In truth I was just too focused on my experiments to clean up. And when I’m not busy with that, I’m busy facing my parents. 

I bend down and open the left-hand drawer containing my personal notebook. This notebook contains everything logged during my trials that I have performed over the last two years. Two years, and only one moderately sized notebook...pathetic, but given the field of study, I can't say I’m too surprised. Most of the science has been lots of theoretical thinking, and less testing. Thus all the papers. They aren't tests, they’re rambles. All the tests go in this notebook. And today, I’m going to perform the most dangerous one.

Leaving my room and heading out of the building, I turn around and give one last look at the house that has imprisoned me for 19 years. So many bad memories, so many nights crying, so many mornings greeted with shouting and abuse. So many times I have seen this house from the outside after sneaking out for an evening alone. This time is different. This time, I’m not coming back.

Heading around the back of the house, I gaze into the forest just beyond our yard. The border between the wilderness and the house I used to reside in is hard to define, as a few trees have crept into what should be the house’s space. The yard, however, was empty. So it’s only fair the trees make use of the available space. My family was never much for going outdoors, so I say  _ good on the trees. _

Walking past the intruding trees, I feel almost at home in the forest. Despised by my parents, being on a property that I wasn't welcome on, feeling like an unwanted guest despite having full claim on the land. Is that a stretch of a metaphor? Probably, but that doesn't stop me from feeling connected to my new tree friends. 

With a lessened sense of loneliness from the trees’ allyship, I heard into the wood with determination. I was going to make a difference if it killed me. 

In thinking that, my pace grinded to a halt. I realized what I was doing, and the feelings were overwhelming. Every part of my body was frozen, the raindrops which fell heavily from the sky could no longer be felt. I was going into these woods to die. I framed it as a science experiment, and in a way it is. But these territories...not only are they uncharted, they are  _ dangerous. _ I knew the risks, I knew the probabilities, but I came out here anyway. It was surreal, I felt like my life was going on and ending without me. For 19 years, I’ve been watching my story through an old T.V., not getting to put in my own input, just coasting along. 

I clench my journal tighter, and focus dawns my face again. But this focus is different. I’m not determined to make a change in the world, or practice this hobby of mine. I know what I need to do to escape, to feel like I have control in this life of mine. I take the first step forward into my new journey, and head deeper into the forest.

I’m walking at a brisk pace, but in my mind I am frantic. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I want to be free, but I don't know how else to get the freedom I need. I push the thoughts down, I don't want to think about it, I don't want to think about it. I just want  **_OUT._ **

Finally, I reach a clearing. A single stump lies in the middle of a circle of trees, with many yards of distance separating the two forces. The stump radiates an aura, telling the trees to stay back, for the stump doesn't much like unpleasant visitors. The trees fear the stump, but respect it, so they stay back peacefully.

Not halting my pace, I approach the stump. I feel the air get thicker as I get closer to the base. The light is brighter over the stump, as there are no trees blocking the grey sky. No rain falls down on the stump, instead it dissipates into mist, afraid of getting close to the stump in any solid form. I, however, lost my fear long ago. The stump isn't so scary when you treat it pleasantly. 

Placing my notes on the stump, I ask it for it’s help. The stump, of course, does not reply, but appreciates the consideration. The stump will help.

A sea of leaves fly into the little clearing the stump has carved out from the trees. They swirl and surround me and the stump, gathering in the center as a storm of foliage; brewing menacingly. The leaves shoot out, creating patterns on the grass, forming perfect geometric designs that tap into the energy of the forest. 

Grabbing my book from the stump, I take just a moment to reflect. Am I ready to do this? Do I really have to? The stump can feel my hesitation, and picks up a leaf from behind, floating it gently over and in front of me. Grabbing it, I can feel the stump too. Massive energy in one place, caring and uncaring. Taking a deep breath, I turn around and place the leaf back, completing the sigil. A tear rolls down my face, but I don't sob. I’m ready.

I step on the stump, and the stump cries for me. The stump cares, and yet is uncaring. The stump just allows energy to flow, but that energy can be sad. I don't want to do this, the stump doesn't want this, no one could  _ possibly _ want this. But I made my choice.

Closing my eyes, I allow myself to feel the energy of the forest flow through the stump, flow through me. The leaves rise, floating in perfect suspension at the same level as my feet. The sigil complete, the energy bridges the gap. Not only can I feel the power, I can see it, hear it, understand it.

It hurts. These feelings should not be felt, not by anyone like me. The energy this forest, and all things carry, should not be felt like this. But now I’m in the flow, and the energy won't stop until I’m connected to it, or my soul breaks under the pressure. I cry out a hollow cry, my very essence aching and cracking under the weight of a thousand souls coming together to bridge a gap right through my heart. 

My vision fades slightly, and the light of my soul dims. The once vibrant forest looks like a midnight glenn under a new moon. I can't handle it after all, but this is what I wanted. In the moments before complete obliteration from both worlds, I smile. And then I cry. And then I’m grinning while crying a sea of tears. I didn't want this, why did it come to this? The force pushes through my core, forcing two sides of a magnet together, my real self and my soul. I cry for everything I missed, and for everything I will miss. I cry for the people who won't miss me, and cry for the fact that no one ever will.

But in that moment, it turns out that someone does. The stump cares, the energy cares, and the universe cares. In a sea of sorrow and regret, the stump called out to the universe and asked it to care. 

The universe responded, “I’ve always cared.”

To that, the stump pleaded with worry, “Then please show it.”

And the universe did. The universe cared, and the universe loved me. The world was dark and lonely, but the universe brought light back, for the universe cared about its creations. From stardust you were born, and from stardust you shall be reborn. I shall go on in a cold world, in a dark world. 

But the universe tells me, “You shall bring the light. For you are my light, and I will you to shine.”

Falling asleep, the universe assures me, “I finish what you started in hopes you start something better. Go forth, starlight. Shine.”

Drifting away, the universe, the stump, the energy of the world fades. I slip into a limbo between the worlds. The words from the universe echo quietly in my mind. The light of my soul mingles with the cold of my flesh; the passion of my heart converses with the logic of my mind. The bridge is made, the gap is filled, and my conscious lies in ease. In this limbo between worlds, I feel loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter! I swear this IS a sparklecare story I just needed to set some oc backstory here. Like i said...this will probably be weird and different but its something for me and i hope its someone y'all can get invested in too. i'll be working on chapter 2 soon, till then, stay swaggy <:3


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